he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
