dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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