No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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