Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
