I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
