my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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