Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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