I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
