My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
