why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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