youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
