I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
