i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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