Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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