I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
