You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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