Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
