Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
