And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
