I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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