she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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