dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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