tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
