i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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