I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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