Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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