Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
