It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
