Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
