Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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