y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
