I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
