I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
