We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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