Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
