Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
