My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
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