so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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