I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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