I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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