a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
