If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Mom said you looked used
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
