i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
