Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I need water and some morals
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