i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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