He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
