if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
