When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
