You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
