hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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