erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
