just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
