I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
