Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
